So it’s not even 6am, yet, and I’m awake. Yes, that IS incredibly gay BUT…I have made a super awesome discovery that may come in helpful to many.

I have found a way to destroy a toothache within, like…5 fucking minutes. That’s right, kids. FIVE minutes (maybe 10 if God hates you).

I’ll cut to the chase as I know, if you DO have a toothache right now, you probably want to choke me for not telling you, already. The magical secret: GARLIC. I did a bunch of reading for home remedies as I’m King Procrastinator and haven’t gotten my foolish ass to a dentist, yet, for the gayest wisdom tooth in all the land and I kept coming across all these concoctions made with garlic. Fuck the shit recipes with chopping, mixing with stuff, etc… Get a clove, smash that shit and stick it right on your tooth (well, like between your cheek and your tooth). It burns like a mofo for a couple minutes but that’s nothing compared to the evilness of the toothache so breathe it out. Within 5-10 minutes your pain is mother fucking GONE.

Should I be stating that I’m not a doctor so I don’t get sued? Well…I’m not a doctor (I know…With all my luscious wisdom, it’s hard to forget).

So, yeah…do that. If you try it, let me know how it works out for you.

Now…I’m going back to bed.

Nothing screams “artist on the rise” like notebook paper.

I go into my brain with a scythe                                  

Hacking

Fucking wanting

Waiting

For an answer

How is my heart today?

Fuck it

I’m a razored babe with

Enough red to blind you

I’ll fuck you

Love you

Fuck me

Take a number

I’m at the back of the line

Waiting to see what’s next

Plant the seed

Stomp it into the ground

Love it ’til it blossoms

And leave it out to frost

Take it in

There’s nothing nicer than death

To decorate the home

The mind

I find you quite irritating

I want to twist you

Bite you

Might you be the one?

Fuck it

Fuck me

Fuck it

Fuck me

Fuck it

Fuck me

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

So, it seems I’ve broken the rules of blogging. Apparently, you’re not supposed to wait a million years to write, again, after posting a few times. In fact, it’s been so long that I’ve forgotten my username to even sign in to edit the damned thing and am taking full advantage of Notepad, copy and paste to do this. Why is Notepad one word? I hate that. Anyway, a lot of fantastical and non-fantasticalness has happened since a million years ago so…umm…off we go.

Also, I’d say I’m sorry I haven’t written but I don’t think anyone’s died or bled from the eyes from my lack of composition. I’ve been busy…and, to be honest, I suck at keeping up with things. So, Blogger Readers, prepare yourself for million year gaps, now and then. Between 2 kids, 3 cats, a dog, a mental disorder and all the fun of the physical shit my body wants to put me through, this blog can slip one’s mind. If it makes anyone feel better, I’m sending warm and sparkley hugs to you, through the computer. Just don’t hug me back. I hate to be touched…

At least, that what it seems like every one’s trying to make him into.

My son has ADHD. Bitch and fucking cry how you think it’s a bullshit DX but, whatever the title may be, he has all the symptoms of someone considered having it.

He’s unnecessarily breaking his toys, as I type. His ears work fine, yet, he can’t hear me. He can’t sit still for more than 2.5 seconds. He’s louder than a constipated buffalo.

He is 9 years old and he is my son. No matter how often I’d like to pound him into the ground, he’s nothing too hard for me to handle.

Now, why is it I am faced with the decision to throw his ass on meds, once again?

School.

Now, I’m not that parent that waves a finger at all the teachers and faculty blaming them for the evil that can erupt from my spawn but I don’t think I should be pressured into running to a fucking doctor every time he won’t sit still in his seat.

My poor kid has been through, at least, 6 different medications, ranging from stimulants to non-stimulants to sedatives. The side effects have been hallucinations, extreme fatigue, violence, depression, weight loss and many others. Now, if I have to choose between a kid who’s afraid to sleep because he sees stuff, that’s underweight and trying to beat my brains in everyday while contemplating suicide and a kid who would rather read than sit in his chair and write an essay… Well, sorry, Teacher. Little Billy’s gonna need some extra tutoring or something because I think even the damned doctor is sick of writing prescriptions, by now.

I wonder how many other parents are going through this…

I wish that was the case. I’m as sober as a bird but my brain is fucking fried. You’ll see a great example in my Fish post. What a stupid thing to forget.

I’ve had the shakes, on and off, but nothing too severe. My arms have been hurting, lately. Gay.

On the bright side, I can skip all I want and kick the heater that doesn’t want to fucking work as hard as it deserves. Hooray!

My sleep seems more regulated but I can still fall asleep at the drop of a hat (Drop of a hat? Why is that considered a popular, acceptable time frame?) if I don’t stay constantly occupied. Good thing I have a couple of kids.

Oh, yeah. At the Drop of a Stupid, Shit Hat

Pisces.

Holy shit! I had to type that out 3 times to spell it right. What the fuck?!

I’ve had a decent amount of energy, lately. It’s only when I over exert myself that I get a bit shaky. My right eye has been bothering me a tiny bit, now and then, but that’s not bad at all.

Hooray!

This is, by far, the most amusing post I’ve ever come across. Please, read this and shit your pants with me.

Masked murderers?!?!?!?!

The fuckin’ best.  Awesome

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